Getting Dumped And Getting Back Your Self Esteem

Getting Dumped And Getting Back Your Self Esteem

Did you know that 90% of all relationships are
ended by women?

That means that most men out there will suffer
through the pain and heartbreak of being
DUMPED at some point in their lives.

Case in point: Check out today's email...


Question:>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Hey what up Joe,

Im going to try and keep this short
and simple for you.

Ive been having a really really rough
time lately. One of your emails helped
me out a lot for a little while but
apparently I keep forgetting it and
keep getting hurt over and over again.

Almost six months ago my ex gf and I of
3 years broke up. Before I met her I was
cocky, confident, funny and fun to be
around.

I had absolutely no problem meeting girls.
When I got with her she was a single mom.
The father of her kid was in jail for drugs
and guns etc etc. So I was a little hesitant
at first, but she was the sweetest girl Id
ever met.

Next thing I know I was staying over at her
house when she would ask and ended up moving
in with her. Somehow along the way and im
not even sure when she became a total demanding
manipulative monster.

We talked about getting married, she wanted
me to adopt her kid ( still does). I was
paying for half of her kids daycare etc etc.
Then I guess she decided going out with her
friends, getting drunk and being a bar slut
was a better play than me.

I partly blame myself for being such a pussy
and pushover. But it seems like shes totally
destroyed who I was. I now have zero confidence.

Unfortunately for me I still work with this
girl, although not in the same department
luckily. However, I still see her outside
smoking. I also still pick up her kid once
a week, we both got really attached to each
other and I feel like its an obligation since
I chose to be in her life originally.

Ive read every ebook out there all the newsletters
everything. Things seem to be going fine for
awhile then she'll start to text me for stupid
reasons. I know shes trying to string me along
and I need to just be rid of her completely, but
its hard.

She was the first girl I ever really loved. I
guess part of it is me being afraid ill never
meet anyone else. Also, at work, I feel because
I got dumped everyone is looking at me weird or
feels some sort of sympathy for me. I dont really
party that much, I dont do drugs, I dont drink
that often so I guess im labeled as "not fun"...where
as she seems to be a lot more fun.

The hardest part is watching guys I know walk up
and talk to her at work. To be honest with you,
shes cute, she knows how to do her make up and
how to dress for her body style, but shes really
not that great. Personality wise, shes bitchy, cant
take a joke, constantly thinks im being mean to her
when I make a joke.

Not only that, but any girls I do talk to, I compare
to her, cause I know she'll be judging every move I
make. Which I know should have no bearing whatsoever,
but like I said she ruined all of my confidence and
now I just feel like a boring, uninteresting nerd.

Deep down, I know she's not worth it. Its just a
shitty feeling knowing some guy you work with is
nailing your ex gf. Even tho I hit it first for
two years and tore it up. haha, she still dumped
me so I guess im still not over the bruised ego.

So, if you can give me any advice to help me
through the situation or any tips or outlooks
I should have I would really appreciate it.

I dont know if there are a lot of guys in this
situation that could use the advice, but id really
appreciate it, thank you.

JN
-Missouri

MR RESPONSE:>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>


Boy, oh boy... where to begin...

First off, let me just make a general statement
that if someone doesn't want to be with you anymore,
you should make a clean break and find someone who
DOES want to be with you.

Pining over a girl who has decided she no longer
likes you is a recipe for DISASTER.

It's like constantly approaching a woman who is
guaranteed to REJECT you every time. That is not
good for the self esteem!

So when you go through a break up - whether you get
dumped or she does the dumping - follow Joe's #1
break up rule:

IF YOU BREAK UP - SEVER ALL TIES TO THAT GIRL AND
MOVE ON.

Seriously. I know this can be a painful process,
and trust me when I say I've been in VERY similar
situations to yours.

So I know how hard it can be to do what I'm telling
you. But it's the difference between slowly peeling
away a band-aid, and just ripping it off.

The quick rip-off will sting at first, but it's
over with quick.

The slow peel-off will hurt for a long, long time!

Right now, you are in the slow peel-off category,
my poor friend.

You need to stop seeing her kid, you need to stop
reading her texts, you need to stop talking to
her all together - you need to MOVE ON.

This is the first step to resetting your self
esteem, by severing ties from the person who
has the POWER to take it away from you.

The second thing you must do is shift your
validation mechanism from external influences
to internal influences.

What I mean by this is: Stop relying on others
to determine your self worth, and become the
source of your own validation!

Right now (and most guys go through this during
a break up), what is happening is that a woman
who gave you such amazing self esteem has rejected
you.

The pain you feel from being dumped is based on
the fact that a woman you associated feeling
"good" and "attractive" to has changed her mind, and
now you feel INVALIDATED.

Worse, you're allowing her judgments, and the
judgments of others around you to influence
your ability to be happy.

Your whole focus should be on making yourself
feel good, and everyone who tries to judge you
feel BAD.

So if you think someone will judge you in a bad
way for doing something you want to do and like
to do - DO IT. Make them judge you badly! They'll
be wallowing in negativity while you enjoy yourself.

Once you make this shift, you're going to notice
this girl try harder to get your attention. She
seems like the typical "single mom" type: young,
dumb, makes bad choices, and has low self esteem.

When you start to improve your life, she'll sweep
in to try and leech off it.

Now, you might be tempted to let her back in when
she does this, but DON'T!

She had her chance, and she blew it. And guess what?
She'll blow it again! So don't give her that chance.
The best revenge is a life well lived, so live your
life and be happy, and expel ALL negative people
from your life.

Finally, the only sure-fire cure to getting over
a break up is to meet AS MANY WOMEN AS POSSIBLE.

When you meet lots of women, and you find other
girls who actually LIKE you, guess what?

Your confidence will begin to grow!

The more girls you hit it off with, the more
confident you'll feel, and the less the break
up will hurt until the pain is gone completely.

Chances are, you will always have a special place
in your heart for this girl, and you know what?
That's okay! But moving on is about learning from
the experiences you had with her and making sure
you don't make the same mistake twice.

So go out there and start meeting tons of girls,
as many as you can!